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Ten Tips On Using Relationship Quizzes To Understand Yourself And Your Partner

There are tons of quizzes online (below is a list and links to a number of self-assessment instruments you can use free of charge) and in magazines that can help you better understand yourself and your relationships, but you need to know a few things to get the maximum benefit. Here are a few tips and suggestions:

  • Remember most of these quizzes are not scientific, so the results should be treated as fun, and a little informative, and not necessarily a true reflection of you and your relationships.
  • Always apply critical thinking to any of the results -- i.e. ask "Is this really reflective of me (or the other person). Numbers make things appear more accurate than they really are.
  • Do the quizzes with your partner. Use them as a basis to discuss things, and not as a basis for beating each other up, or arguing, or blaming.
  • Some quizzes purport to assess personality disorders or mental issues. These can be dangerous, since only a professional is in a position to give you a valid assessment of mental problems. Best to stay away from these.
  • Self-help and quizzes should never be used as a substitute for professional mental health or relationship help.
  • Treat the quizzes as a fun exercise, rather than thinking they will tell you something you don't already know. YOU are the ultimate determiner of the accuracy of the results.
  • Quizzes with more questions generally are more accurate. The shorter the quiz, the less useful.
  • Focus not only on the results, but your responses to each individual question. The value of quizzes is often to stimulate your thinking about yourself, so pay attention to your thought processes when you answer each question.
  • If you do a quiz with a partner, treat their results as confidential. Don't share or gossip about their responses or results. It creates bad feelings and is often destructive.
  • Never use quiz results to justify yourself to your partner or blame your partner. Use them to open up discussion between the two. TALK, and talk in civil ways with an open heart and mind.

Below are a number of available free assessments and quizzes. We've tried to weed out any that seem scammy, or a waste of time, but it's up to you to determine what works for you.

For Men: Evaluate Your Relationships Quiz By Mensline - For MEN: Out of Australia, this test contains about 50 items, and gives you a set of scores on sub-topics like passion, knowledge and partner, etc. (Added: 16-May-2014 Hits: 1477 )

Relationship Structures Quiz - Attachment Styles Across Relationships By Chris Fraley - This application is designed to help you learn more about the way you mentally represent important people in your life. You will be asked to answer questions about your parents, your romantic partners, and your friends. When you are finished, the program will analyze your responses and provide you with a summary of how these different relationships are organized in your mind. This application takes about 5 to 10 minutes to complete. (Added: 16-May-2014 Hits: 858 )

State of Your Relationship Quiz By Robert Hall - If you answer these 25 questions, you should have a general measure of the breadth and depth of your relationships for comparison and discussion. The quiz is not scientific, of course, but hopefully it will stimulate insights into the relationship underpinnings that influence your life within each domain and as a whole. (Added: 16-May-2014 Hits: 750 )

What Do You Really Need in a Relationship By Oprah - From Oprah, a nice exercise in helping you define what's most important to you in your relationship. About 40 items to answer. (Added: 16-May-2014 Hits: 1547 )

Is Your Relationship In Danger of Failing? By Dr. Phil - From Dr. Phil site. I'm not a "Phil" fan but this 60 item evaluation, with true false answers can give you some hints as to the future of your relationships, and whether it's likely to succeed. Unfortunately true-false questions aren't particularly useful, and tend to give superficial results. (Added: 16-May-2014 Hits: 2456 )

Quiz: Are You In A Toxic Relationship? By BeliefNet - One of the better online quizzes because it's based on some research, and it deals with a very important topic - whether your relationship is actually toxic to you. Recommended. (Added: 16-May-2014 Hits: 1633 )

Positive Relationship Quiz | Are You Ok? Assess Whether You Have A Positive Relationship By na - Actually two quizzes to evaluate whether you are in a positive relationship. Short, each about 15 items, with yes or no responses. The first is about your reactions, the second about your partner's. (Added: 16-May-2014 Hits: 1372 )

Stress and Anxiety Quiz By University of California - Berkeley - Not about relationships, per se, but about whether you have too much stress and anxiety in your life. From University of California, about 21 questions. (Added: 14-May-2014 Hits: 1401 )

For Fun, Women - Commitment Issues Quiz By Cosmo - Fun, perhaps, not so informative on whether you, as a woman have a fear of commitment. Some would think this is silly, as is the case with most of the Cosmo quizzes. (Added: 14-May-2014 Hits: 1325 )

Ready to Get Married Quiz - More Fun Than Informative For Women By Cosmo - From Cosmo, this fun little quiz is supposed to help you decide if you are ready to settle down. Phrasing of the questions is amusing, if not that useful (Added: 14-May-2014 Hits: 1347 )

Healthy Relationships Quiz - Is Your Relationship Abusive? By na - About twenty yes or no questions about the health of your relationship. Provides only a few sentences about the results, and the quiz is a bit of a marketing technique for the company. (Added: 14-May-2014 Hits: 1410 )

Is Your Relationship Based On Trust Or Suspicion? Find out With This Relationship Trust Quiz By University of California - Berkeley - Trust is one of the building blocks of any long term relationship. This short 17 item test asks you to assess YOURSELF, rather than your partner, to see how much you trust him or her. Remember, this quiz is about you, not whether the other person is trustable. (Added: 14-May-2014 Hits: 698 )

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Top Ten Relationship Quiz Books (0)
Here's a selection of books containing relationship quizzes and self-assessments, primarily for your enjoyment, but good for learning a bit about yourself.

Pages Updated On: 29-Sep-2021 - 16:45:45

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Robert's books have sold over 300 thousand copies worldwide, and have been translated into Chinese, French, German and Japanese.

He holds a Masters Degree in Applied Psychology, and has taught clinical and counselling psychology at the college level.

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