"Whatever" - The Ultimate Brushoff

 Examples of The Use of "Whatever":

· Whatever [often accompanied by big sigh, eye rolling or other negative non-verbals].

 Explanation:

What is this one word bomb? The ultimate brush-off.

• The ultimate “I can’t be bothered to talk to you because you aren’t that important”.
• A one word method to avoid difficult conversations one doesn’t want to have.
• The way to avoid conflict at all costs, so that you’ll never resolve the conflict in a positive way.

 Still want to use it? It really is a terrible put-down, and while it seems to have started as something teenagers used to express disdain, it’s been adopted and used by adults who should know better.

A lot of the time it’s used because a person feels pressured, overwhelmed, and/or knows that he or she is in the wrong, and doesn’t want to feel foolish.

It’s bad. It’s also on our list of worst ten imperfect phrases.

 Make It Better:

People who use this word often do so because it has become a bad habit. When you don’t know what to say, or you don’t know how to handle frustration, this word may just “jump out of your mouth”, just out of habit. You need to pay attention to what you say, and try to break this habit, unless, of course you want to demean someone, insult him, or tell him you couldn’t care less. Then again, don’t count on that helping the relationship.

But what do you do if you ARE feeling overwhelmed, you know you are in the wrong, or you just don’t want to have the conversation at that point in time? Try these instead:

· Oh, John, please, I’m so tired right now. Can we talk about this after a good night’s sleep?

· Freddy, if we have this conversation now, it’s just going to turn into an argument, because I’ve had a long day, and so have you. Can we wait?

· Amanda, I know this is important to you, so since it’s not a good time for me, can we set a time, a little later to talk about this. Let’s say just after supper?