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How To Say "Not Now" Without Offending Someone
Examples:
Not now!
Explanation:
Parents use this with children, and it’s completely understandable, but that doesn’t make it effective. Whether with adults, or with children, you do have a right to indicate that “now” is not a good time to do something the other person wants you to do.
One problem with it is that it’s a command, and adults don’t react well to being told things in this way. A second is that it’s harsh and abrupt, because it’s standing on its own.
Make It Better:
You can say, “Not now”, provided you add verbal softeners to it. For example, with a child:
Sweetie, not just now, I’m doing something, but as soon as I’m finished, let’s say in ten minutes, we can talk.
With adults?
Jack, not right now because I’m in the middle of something. Can it wait until I’m finished?
Jack, hold on to that thought for two minutes, so I can give you my full attention.
Much better.
One exception: If you are doing something that requires your attention for safety reasons, (driving a car, cutting food), and you absolutely don’t have time to provide these longer responses, safety should come first. In those situations, “not now”, will have to do.
About The Author
Robert's books have sold over 300 thousand copies worldwide, and have been translated into Chinese, French, German and Japanese.
He holds a Masters Degree in Applied Psychology, and has taught clinical and counselling psychology at the college level.
You can browse his Amazon Author page by clicking the graphic above.
Fun Endorsements
Just Jenny from the block signing at the International Conference: Shut Your Trap, Listen, And Have The Relationship You Want