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- Imperfect Phrases 21-30
- Imperfect Phrases 31-40
- Imperfect Phrases 41-50
- Imperfect Phrases 51-60
- Imperfect Phrases 61-70
- Imperfect Phrases 71-80
- Imperfect Phrases 81-90
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Identifying And Dealing With Emotional And Verbal Abuse In Relationships
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Getting Close To Verbal Abuse - "How The Hell Should I Know?"
Examples:
How the hell should I know where you left your glasses?
How the hell should I know. It’s your responsibility?
How should I know?
Explanation:
So, you’ve had a bad day and you are tired of being asked questions for which you have no answer. Understandable. You can’t help everyone all the time. However, this kind of response, loaded with frustration, isn’t the way to go.
What does the phrase say? “Don’t bother me with your problems” is one message underlying this response. The other is “Not only are you bothering me, but it’s not even my responsibility, so solve your problem on your own.
Is that what you really want to say to someone you care about? If not, don’t.
Make It Better: What To Say Instead
Mary, I don’t know where your glasses are, but if you haven’t found them by dinner time, I’ll be able to help you look.
Notice the volunteering to help, but also the message that it’s Mary’s task to look on her own first.
I don’t know the answer to that. I thought we agreed that you’d take care of that when we talked last week. Did I get that wrong?
Don’t be deceived by the “hell” part. The problem with the phrase remains even if you simply say, How should I know.
About The Author
Robert's books have sold over 300 thousand copies worldwide, and have been translated into Chinese, French, German and Japanese.
He holds a Masters Degree in Applied Psychology, and has taught clinical and counselling psychology at the college level.
You can browse his Amazon Author page by clicking the graphic above.
Fun Endorsements
Just Jenny from the block signing at the International Conference: Shut Your Trap, Listen, And Have The Relationship You Want